Friday, April 13, 2007

Sex With the Lights ON… Yes Please!

Over the edge, out of line, offensive… all phrases that are linked to The Anti-Gym… especially with The Anti-Gym’s famous line “ Have sex with the lights on”.

Fans of abstinence, bearded ladies, and chubbies had better be sitting down. It has been proven that sex, with the lights on or off (although it is much better with the lights on and with confidence in your body), is beneficial to regularly incorporate in your lifestyle.
Sex is a form of physical exercise, therefore burning lots of calories. If you are having sex 3 times a week, (Yes bearded ladies, some people have sex that often. Most Anti-Gym clients have it more than that) and maintain it throughout the year, it is equivalent to jogging 75 miles! So, all you bitter haters, think about that…. The Anti-Gym is promoting fun cardiovascular exercise! F-U-N. Would you rather have sex or run? Huh, good question to ask yourself before you write your rubbish.

If that isn’t enough to make you stop eating your cupcakes, maybe this is. British researchers have determined that having sex three times a week for a year can work off the equivalent of six Big Macs.

Along with the increased supply of oxygen to the cells, sex also stimulates the activity of various organs and systems in the body. This aids in the balancing out of the good to bad cholesterol ratio, and the reduction of overall cholesterol count in your body!

In a 2001 Queens University (Belfast) study of the correlation between mortality and sexual activity, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
Some studies indicate that sex may reduce headaches and joint pain. That is why The Anti-Gym is such a supporter of sex with the lights on. The bearded ladies give The Anti-Gym such headaches with their disgraceful emails and negative attitudes! Having sex is the only way to control the pain.

The satisfaction and relaxation after sex are beneficial for the mind and circulatory system. Another mental health benefit! Having regular and enthusiastic sex confers a host of measurable physiological advantages, be you male or female, chubby or buff. (This assumes that you are engaging in sex without contracting a sexually transmitted disease.)

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman's overdosing on sex. So, all you prudes who are hater of The Anit-Gym because of their advertisements, drop the outrageous excuses and sour attitudes. In fact regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture. Spice it up! And get rid of the giggle that comes from all of your junky eating habits!

So, is sex necessary? Sex with the lights on? You betcha!! The Anti-Gym is looking to make your sex life more exciting and frequent by giving you that rockin’ body. The sexy body that you’ll be eager to show off as you “HAVE SEX WITH THE LIGHTS ON”!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Joint, Joint, What's the Point

Ok, the hot topic for all the angry chubbies and bearded ladies has been The Anti-Gym’s support of marijuana. Yes, you were hearing correctly on American Chubby last week. We think that birthday’s should be celebrated by lighting up a joint, not eating birthday cake (even after you smoke).

Marijuana use can have a number of physical and psychological benefits, just as The Anti-Gym does. As usual, bearded ladies and flabby, bitter people do not like to hear this about marijuana, as it doesn’t agree with their stuffy ways in life. But, The Anti-Gym is taking another stand on a controversial issue in American news.

Marijuana, by its effect on the ANS (Autonomic Nervous System), enhances both sides of the brain. The left brain perception is heightened (notices more), as the right brain’s reception is improved at the same time.

More, cleaner blood, is sent to the brain, just as in the “fight or flight” reaction when marijuana is used. The blood supply to the entire brain is increased, because of Parasympathetic dilation of the capillaries. The heart swells through capillary enhancement and is fueled more and more fully oxygenated blood, while, at the same time, its contractions and expansions are greater allowing for stronger pumping action to the rest of the body. More blood means more oxygen and consequently clearer and broader thinking, as well as significant relaxation…. Something that Bearded Ladies and Anti-Gym haters should think about, really!

Marijuana resolves conflict by de-emphasizing extreme aggressiveness and strokes the receptive sides of human nature. (Huh, with the ridiculous incidents with haters at The Capital Grille in the past 3 weeks, maybe they should have an emergency blunt on hand.) This healthy balancing nature of marijuana is most threatening to modern society, but most beneficial to the individual… fat or not.

Marijuana has also been proven to have several medical benefits, including the pain relief, acting as an anti-asthmatic, anti-rheumatic, and anti-inflammatory aide, and reduction of nausea caused by anticancer drugs.

So, chubbies, if you think that all of your food enhances your brain and quality of life, it doesn’t! Instead, put the cupcake down, and chew on this blog for a while. And if all else fails, grab a pot brownie if you have to eat to enhance yourself (if you don‘t know what a pot-brownie is, get off the plastic couch and find out) . But, please do so before you start writing your hate emails to The Anti-Gym again.

Monday, April 2, 2007


Ok, tired of being fat yet? Sick of being offended by the label of a “bearded lady”? Ready to admit that your personal trainer is not working? Well, he/she doesn’t!

Looking and feeling sexy, being in stellar shape, and having mental balance in life all go hand in hand. Hiring a personal trainer that is more concerned about “resigning” you for more la-di-dah workout sessions is not going to give you these critical elements for healthy success.

The main focus of most personal trainers is to give you a hard workout and get you out the door, only to train the next client exactly the same way. Once you’ve stepped outside the gym, they’re not concerned about you again until you enter the gym doors again. You haven’t been instructed about your eating habits. And any discusssion about stress levels with work, forget about it! Therefore, you are bound to fail the second you walk out into the “real” world again.

The only thing a personal trainer is going to tell you is that you can’t eat at restaurants, can’t drink alcohol, and can’t buy anything at the grocery store but egg whites and chicken. And if you are a good girl, you can have green beans for a treat! Yehhh.

If your personal trainer is someone you consider a “friend”…. RUN. (Well, walk because you probably can’t run without dumping your cupcakes.) Being nice isn’t an option when you’re talking about succeeding in the gym and with health and weight goals. Personal trainers of course want to be your friend, because they want your bucks. They also want your butt to remain in tact, so they maintain job security!

Focusing on mental health, stress levels and nutritional guidance is imperative to feeling sexy and rockin’ a killer body. It is important to spotlight these elements, and your trainer isn’t going to do that.

So, if you like your beard, keep tossing money to a personal trainer. Keep emailing nasty messages to The Anti-Gym. Keep blaming your thyroid for your weight problems. Keep the bitter attitude towards the world. We’ll keep reminding you that you need to get yourself together, and dump the cupcakes and your trainer.


We’ve all heard the saying, “ I take life with a grain of salt, a wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila”? Well, this is true for healthy, sexy individuals, not just the bearded ladies.

Alcohol has been labeled as the second most evil pleasure in life, and is almost always banned from suggested diets by personal trainers. I call bluff on the theory that the elimination of alcohol from your diet is essential to be sexy and fit. I say yes to moderate alcohol consumption… as there are health benefits. And letting loose and having a little bit of fun is always good. Bearded ladies, you should try this, and take a break from your emailing!

Moderate consumption of alcohol may provide health benefits to the human body and mind. Alcohol reduces a person’s risk of developing heart disease, peripheral vascular disease and intermittent claudicating. Along with this is a reduced risk of strokes, particularly ischemic strokes (clot-caused). Gallstone and type 2 diabetes risks are also lower with alcohol consumption. These facts have been supported by more than 100 prospective studies.

The idea of moderate drinking has been biologically and scientifically plausible on a number of levels. So, drink up. Relax and enjoy yourself, knowing that your sexiness will stick around!!!

*Look for The Anti-Gym cocktail menu in selected bars and clubs in Denver.